Important Golf Terminology

An Adolf Hitler - Taking two shots in a bunker
An Arthur Scargill - A great strike but a poor result
A Kate Winslett - A bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Rodney King - Over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - Somehow got away with it
A Condom - Safe but didn't feel real good
A sister-in-law - Up there, but I know that I shouldn't be
A Kathy Freeman - It's ugly but it's still running
A Kate Moss - A bit thin
Taking a Gerry Adams - Hitting a provisional ball
A nipple licker - A shot that opens up the hole.
A Diego Maradona - Very very nasty little five footer
A Salman Rushdie - An impossible read
A Rock Hudson - Thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
Putting like a gynaecologist's assistant - Keep shaving the hole